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What to do when you see a parent mistreating a child in public

We have all seen a child yelled at or even hit in a public place. It’s usually in a grocery store or other location where there are lots of temptations for children but nothing for them to really do, and when the adults and children are tired and frustrated. It’s a set-up for loss-of-control.

What not to do:

• Don’t make negative comments or give dirty looks. This will only make the situation worse. The parent will be embarrassed, get angrier and perhaps take it out on the child even more.
• Don’t take a superior, “all-knowing” tone with the parent. Instead…

What to do:

• Empathize with the parent. Remember when you have had an extremely bad day and say something like, “I know how my child sometimes acts up in a restaurant.” or “Stores always put the candy and gum at the kids’ eye-level.”
• Offer Assistance. “Is there anything I can do to help? “Would you like me to carry your bags or put your cart away?”
• Divert the parent’s attention away from the child. Ask the parent a question or otherwise engage the parent in conversation, so they have a moment to calm down. “Children can sure try our patience, can’t they?”
• Try to relieve the tension by finding something positive to say about the child or parent. “My, you have her dressed so nicely.” “You are tackling the most important job today…parenting.”
• Divert the child’s attention if he is misbehaving by asking a question or pointing out something of interest. “Let me show you a picture of my son; he’s a big boy like you.”
• Suggest a resource. “I used a babysitting co-op when my kids were little. We would take turns giving each other the afternoon off.”
• Ensure Safety. If the child is left alone in a shopping cart, stand near by until the parent returns.
• Contact the Store Manager if you feel a child is in danger.
• Call Law Enforcement at 911 if you see a child intentionally injured.

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